Sonic Masala - Never Clever "Still don't know how Clever haven't eaten up the Eastern Sea Board of Australia in their attempt to immolate all that is cautious and safe, burning the vanilla tastebuds from the bloated tongues of the elitist tastemakers, performing a Caesarean on the self-congratulatory nonpareil and casting the remains away in disgust. Is that too much?"
The Guardian - Why are we still waiting for high-speed rail between Sydney, Melbourne and Brisbane?Stephen Bygrave: "A high-speed rail network would radically reduce emissions, connect regional and urban areas, create jobs and enhance investment. So why the hold-up?"
Beyond Zero Emissions - High Speed Rail Report (2014) Brilliant in-depth 'real world' breakdown of the benefits of developing a high speed rail network on the east coast of Australia.
The Guardian - Beyoncé's Lemonade is about much more than Jay Z and infidelityIjeoma Oluo: "I was not expecting to be cracked wide open by this project. I was not expecting to shed a lifetime of tears. But I did."
Medium - The Smith Street Band On the road with one of Australia's best: "As the house music fades, Run The Jewels come over the P.A and the band walk on stage to rousing applause. They open their set with Something I Can Hold In My Hands, the opening track to Throw Me In The River. Wagner sings, 'Every inch of me is always itching unless I’m on a stage,' and it’s true, as minutes early he paces around backstage trying to convince his band mates to go on stage early."
They don't know much. In fact they might know nothing.
But one thing These Millennials (TM) know for sure is irony.
Coca-Cola jumpsuits, Crocs (TM), badges with slogans, berets, Bart Simpson sweatshirts, sweat stains on their plain grey t-shirts, grey jorts with matching grey shorts over the top, sandals made from cat hair, hats with U.S.A Beer Company Logos (TM), flip-flops and ripped tank-tops with their belly-buttons exposed.
But irony is not exclusively reserved for the arenas of High Fashion (TM).
You Can Find Irony Everywhere (TM).
Even within Nicknames.
Such is the case with the origin of the late/great/berated young gent called Ladyfoot.
An ironic label. A paradox of his most commanding physical trait - the size of his feet.
His ridiculously large feet.
Humorously out-of-scale with their environment. Like tumours on necks. Ripped off and used to indicate scoring boundaries. Goiters for goal posts. Catches win matches (in another sport), but here, it's balls between enlarged thyroid glands. A difficult task for some, but given his genetic advantage, a task Ladyfoot was Born To Achieve (TM). All hail his gargantuan feet.
And you know what they say about large feet?
Big Socks (TM).
Socks so big they could solve This Housing Crisis (TM).
Socks so big they could solve world hunger.
Socks so big they could hide us all from the inherited guilt of global privilege.
Socks so bloody large you
and all 500 of your friends
that have agreed to write nice things
in this book
can snuggle up inside.
The largest sock
these worthless pennies can afford.
An enviously large foot protector.
A donation from Ladyfoot.
Let's all climb inside.
Those near the top,
(the ankle off-ramp),
please inform those at the bottom,
(down in the Engine Room Toe Region (TM)),
of the coordinates of the nearest pond.
Shuffle and stumble towards that river.
A peaceful, polite exit,
first proposed by William Wagner.
And what could be better,
than launching ourselves
into the nearest water catchment.
Drowning in a sock.
and me, Lord Ladyfoot of Lilyfield.
— J.Nail (February, 2016)
25: Friday Bookmarks (Week 12, 2016)
18: Friday Bookmarks (Week 11, 2016)
11: Friday Bookmarks (Week 10, 2016)
08: Dick Pix + Flicks
08: The Healthy Hate, Part 3: Stadiums of the Suburbs
04: Friday Bookmarks (Week 09, 2016)
01: Places Lived: Wylam, PAN Magazine
26: Friday Bookmarks (Week 08, 2016)
25: Christchurch, New Zealand (February, 2016)
24: Best Music of 2016 (February)
19: Friday Bookmarks (Week 07, 2016)
17: Queenstown, New Zealand (January, 2016)
12: Friday Bookmarks (Week 06, 2016)
29: Friday Bookmarks (Week 04, 2016)
23: Weak Boys, Last Show of 2016
22: Friday Bookmarks (Week 03, 2016)
17: Canoelands to Gentlemans Halt
15: Friday Bookmarks (Week 02, 2016)
08: Friday Bookmarks (Week 01, 2016)
27: Friday Bookmarks (Week 48, 2015)
20: Friday Bookmarks (Week 47, 2015)
13: Friday Bookmarks (Week 46, 2015)
06: Friday Bookmarks (Week 45, 2015)
05: Official Press Release: "The Wedge Tape", Various Artists
30: Friday Bookmarks (Week 44, 2015)
28: smug cardigans
23: Friday Bookmarks (Week 43, 2015)
20: What if we just did this forever, then what
16: Friday Bookmarks (Week 42, 2015)
09: On the Edge with Marc Maron
09: Friday Bookmarks (Week 41, 2015)
02: Friday Bookmarks (Week 40, 2015)
30: Briggs on his new Bad Apples label
25: Friday Bookmarks (Week 39, 2015)
24: The Healthy Hate, Part 2: Mortality and Marathons
18: Friday Bookmarks (Week 38, 2015)
11: Friday Bookmarks (Week 37, 2015)
04: Friday Bookmarks (Week 36, 2015)
01: How To: save on S3 monthly charges and avoid "dude, you've gone about 10000% over your allocated bandwidth" emails from your webhost
24: all good contemporary poetry is replicated from Instant Messenger screenshots from 2011
22: There are no good unexpected phone calls at 10:51pm.
19: Jogging About Wine
19: Friday Bookmarks (Week 25, 2015)
12: Friday Bookmarks (Week 24, 2015)
09: Down Silky Roads
05: Friday Bookmarks (Week 23, 2015)
04: The Healthy Hate, Part 1
29: Friday Bookmarks (Week 22, 2015)
22: Friday Bookmarks (Week 21, 2015)
15: Friday Bookmarks (Week 20, 2015)
09: Waltzing About Waterparks All Week
08: Friday Bookmarks (Week 19, 2015)
01: Friday Bookmarks (Week 18, 2015)
17: The Healthy Hate, Part 1 (draft)
22: twenty sex miles
10: Whiskey Club
07: Out Here
09: San Francisco
12: Soccer Trip
26: Sick Kate
12: Wallet Contents (April 2010)
14: Necks That Talk
22: All Nights
17: Aust Day 2005